Why Pickup Artists Are Reading Ovid - The Atlantic

Published Jan 05, 23
6 min read

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The strategies used by a pickup artist depend on his training and what has worked well in the past with his targets. Even though artists of this type attempt to scientifically evaluate a social interaction in order to achieve desirable results, there is a certain amount of individuality present in each interaction.

Pickup lines, routines, and persuasion techniques are all commonly used in order to gain the target's interest. These strategies have some basis in social psychology and neuro-linguistic programming, but this use of relatively coherent science is not always correct. Most of the time, a pickup artist is concerned only with results, and why the technique works is irrelevant.

This is not always the case, even though many of the techniques used focus on reacting to common indicators of interest. Whether interest can actually be predicted through common physical actions is up for debate. Versatility when picking up partners can yield better results, but in some ways goes against the very regular and methodical approach of pickup artists.

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Most people go into potential romantic relations with the basic assumption that they are not being played or otherwise manipulated and that the interaction is relatively unplanned. When a person discovers that she is being manipulated using regular techniques, this often destroys any chance at a relationship, even if the connection between the two people was on some level genuine.

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Some of these individuals suggest, as Blanc does, that they use techniques that subvert a target’s autonomy. There is nothing unusual, of course, about thinking of ways to win over a romantic interest. However, pickup artists can be differentiated from the bulk of the population in that they turn this normal human activity into a game—and aim to distill it down to an art form that can be improved through knowledge and rehearsal, often with a clear end-point.

However, anecdotally, there appears to have been an increase in these services over the past decade. Neil Strauss’ 2005 book, The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists, made a month-long appearance on the New York Times bestseller list and was Number One on soon after its release in the United States.

For example, the “seven-hour rule," which dictates that an average of seven hours should be spent with a woman before reaching "full close," their term for sexual intercourse. “Negging” refers to giving a woman a backhanded compliment; “pawning” is the use of a woman to show one's social value to other women; and "going caveman” refers to the strategy of minimizing conversation and maximizing physical contact in an encounter.

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Some pickup artists advocate the seven-hour rule, referenced above, and may use techniques such as sharing information about themselves and seeking information about their target, with the topics they discuss becoming progressively more personal and intimate. This allows the pickup artist to get to know their target on a deeper level, and approach supported by evidence that mutual self-disclosure can assist in the development of relationships.

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“”Ooh, are we negging? Let me try! You look like you're going to spend your life having one epiphany after another, always thinking you've finally figured out what's holding you back, and how you can finally be productive and creative and turn your life around. But nothing will ever change.

Women are, in fact, human and therefore sentient apex predators with the ability to reason, plan and contextualize behavior. Humans are also known for both A)having wildly differing personalities and behavior patterns, and B)retaliating for mistreatment (good advice is to always ask yourself how you would react if the opposite sex treated you the same way you treat them).

Many have accused the subculture of misogyny and objectification; others see it as no different from any other kind of flirting or attraction. What disgusts outside observers the most is their treatment of women as apparently stupid mentally-homogeneous robotic objects who owe men sex, who are ripe to be manipulated, used, tossed away, laughed about with hi-fives afterwards.

Also… it's good to have more confidence, be somewhat bolder and have fun while dating. The negative lessons that most guys probably take from the book are too numerous to list here. Common themes and techniques[edit] Many PUA "techniques" are often simply means of emotional manipulation with others crossing into overt sexual harassment.

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Another particularly manipulative technique is pouring on endless stimulating charm and then a departure expecting you to follow them to the next stage of the conquest with no avenue to ever contact them again. (The sequence tends to go: chat, separate from herd, schmooze, drink, walk, apartment, bed). At any step the guy is going there and you can come along if you want to otherwise fuck off.

PUA brag about the effectiveness of this technique...because they likely don't have the patience, personality, empathy or humanity to move onto the next stage with a partner when it's both clearly and mutually consensual. One almost universal meme within the PUA community is the use of "negging," the "push/pull technique," or other variants on the old "treat them mean, keep them keen" cliché, in which the PUA uses strategic put-downs and minor insults to entice his prey by undermining her self-confidence and creating tension which he uses to his advantage.

So what are they like?[edit] Pick-up artists tend to tell you a story of how they used to fail all the time with attracting women and thought they would never make it. But they discovered their formulas and techniques, and are now willing to share them with you… for a price! The more honest ones will admit that it's a numbers game; PUAs have a higher success rate by virtue of prowling bars endlessly, or that the "information" they have acquired gives them a placebo effect that improves their confidence.

Many men get into pick-up due to social impairments, such as discomfort in normal conversation with people (not necessarily just women) and vice versa. While some unscrupulous purveyors of "game material" can take advantage of this, others genuinely want to see their peers improve and be more happy in their lives.

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There is also a small community of gay male pick-up artists. Does it work/Is it a scam?[edit] Anyone that denies the influence of looks, money, and status in sexual attraction is delusional, and everyone would agree that learning the social skills required for making meaningful connections, romantic or otherwise, is a valuable investment of time and energy.

Much of its information is from straight out of the basement; the rest is either common sense advice or social skills that many individuals just don't learn growing up. They also run many forums where prospective PUAs can share advice and anecdotal field reports. This is almost free validation for PUAs since young men have been bragging about their made up sexual conquest since the beginning of time.

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